rnax: wontonpoop: tell em wassup arby
pizzaforpresident: pizzaforpresident: somebody literally needs to call fucking dominos and place an order to my house and pay for it with their visa because im going to kill myself if there isn’t a pepperoni pizza on my lap in the next hour GOD BLESS YOU TUMBLR
yesimbeyonce: wvnderbar: i just got 50 shades darker at target today and it was 20% off~~ i got 50 shades darker this summer
youbetter-runlike-thedevil: stormpooper: zooeyclairedeschanel: stop saying i can’t even and start saying i can even believe in urself is that a lawn mower flying no, it’s a lawn mower following it’s dreams
megagirl: it’s spherical SPHERICAL
cybergay: ok the prototype is done
if any of you ever saw me in real life you’d just be like “oh”
How to be ugly
Step 1: Look like me.
So there's only one channel in this motel,
madeofmetals: This morning while I was getting ready I was watching Sesame Street. They were doing this bit where some clown was trying to wash his hands but kept washing his feet or his elbows and Elmo would go, “no mister noodle, your HANDS!” and all the tv kids would laugh. Around the fourth or fifth time he couldn’t find his hands, I heard a grown man yell from somewhere else in the motel,...
i-nevercomplain: durianseeds: How To Correctly Serve a Watermelon maybe it was just because i was looking for something to cheer me up…. but i think i just had a heart attack laughing at this..
gatsbie: internet explorer has to make a commercial to get people to use it even though it’s already automatically installed in every pc
hmuifyoureblack: trophywifematerial: do you ever get the feeling that people are talking about you, and not in a good way
notkorra: “be strong,” i whisper at my wifi signal
me watching the olympics: how
pretty girls: id rather be called beautiful than hot
me: lol ill take what i can get
leaderofblackpeople: jakefromstate-farm: am i the only one that feels weird saying my own name? I would too if I had a name as long as Jake from State Farm
gimpygabi: -chairmanmeow: why are ghost movies always set in hospitals and jails. i want a ghost movie set in walmart. “cleanup in aisle 13” “but there is no aisle 13”
methlabrador: imagine walking down the street one day and someone walks by you and whispers your url in your ear and you turn around and they’re gone